I've had the book, The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron for a couple years now. My niece Valerie first suggested I read it a few years ago, and I went out and bought it. Then I found an edition on sale that has The Artists's Way, Walking in the World and Finding Water all in one volume. I've been struggling with a lot of things, my mental health, my physical health, my emotional health and they all affect my creative health. Over the time that I've had these books, I've read through the first three chapters several times. I've always balked at the time commitment required. A half hour or so each morning and over the course of the week about 7-10 hours.

In essence it's a twelve step program to help unblock creativity or to discover creative renewal. But I've also noticed that the language and the concepts are very close to cognitive behavioural therapy. Even some of the language is like that of CBT. Traditional therapy, other than a stint with a baby Psychiatrist (an intern) I've not found therapy to be overall helpful. There has been a few things I've found helpful, one of which is just talking and finding where I have the problems. But I think, one of the exercises in the book, engenders a self dialogue and I might be able to get my questions and answers from myself.

It's a twelve step program, but it's also a twelve week program. Twelve weeks, at 10 hours a week, is a lot of time. I very rarely do anything that consistently. But I have done sketching that consistently at times, so I'm going to give this a shot. I've always made excuses, and that's what artists do, they make excuses for why they aren't being creative. "Oh when I'm making more money", "Oh when my relationship is in a better place.", "Oh when I'm feeling less crabby, less pissy, less ill, less stressed <insert excuse here>." I've heard myself make all these excuses and more. Apparently this program works for whatever creative process one is trying to get through (sculptor's, writers, painters etc). I don't think it's going to make me a better artist, but I think it's going to help me move through the excuses and give myself permission to create and be creative. I've all these books, I've all these materials, yet I consistently do less art than I have supplies for. Really. The scope of equipment and materials I have is pretty astonishing all put together. And I've little in actual artwork to show for it. Another excuse I've used on myself is "I really want to have a group of peers to go through this process with." Well, I have a group of artistic peers now through the folks I got together for Sketch'n'Kvetch and whether they join me in this guided course or not, doesn't matter. It only matters that I do it. I'll tell them about it, a few already know, and leave it up to them. I prefer company (hence the excuse to not do this for want of a group to do this with), but I can do it on my own too.

So I'm going to do this. I went out yesterday and bought myself a spiffy new journal in which to do the one exercise called "Morning Pages". First thing in the morning, as soon as the immediate needs are cared for (bathroom and tea for me most mornings), I'll be writing three pages of free flowing stream of consciousness writing. It's not meant to be fancy, or pretty, or anything I'm ever going to show anyone. It's just whatever comes to mind. Julia says in the book that even if I end up writing "I have no idea what to write." and fill up three pages of that, then that's what I have to do.

I've got a contract here that I'll be signing. It's a contract with myself and my inner artist to keep at this. And it's also a contract with myself to treat myself well, pamper myself, eat well, sleep regularly. I've not been doing much of that lately at all.

I'm hoping this unblocks more than just my creativity. I have hope.

Should be interesting at the very least.